If there is one thing that depresses me, it’s not being able to work on this website after coming up with a list of things to do the night before. This has been happening to me all too often lately and though I go through a period like this every year when the weather gets cooler, it never seems to get easier to deal with.
I want to get so many things done right now, from minor things like reformatting some reviews, to redesigning the site and playing games on the Balance Board for a feature. I have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew, but lately I can’t even seem to get half of what I want done. Read More…
I’ve been waking up in pain for a couple of weeks straight now and it affects my drive to work, in the morning especially. It feels like every muscle in my body shrank one size and I’ve severely pulled both my leg and shoulder by simply stretching when I wake up a few times.
It’s exhausting to say the least and I’ve been finding myself just drained both physically and emotionally before lunch time every day. I get very frustrated with myself because I can’t find a balance that works for me and in addition to not getting “work” done I’ve been falling behind on household chores.
For some reason, I have a false sense of competition like the website is “behind” or something. In reality it’s a hobbyist or enthusiast blog that happens to reach thousands of users every month and make enough money to cover hosting and a small advertising budget and I should be happy with that. It’s not that I’m not entirely, but I have this drive to compete with the “big boys” despite Game Forward being operated and published by a couple in our spare time.
I know I should just slow down and take things one at a time. What we’ve been doing for almost two years is working well enough to keep us “in business” and the feedback we’ve received has been overwhelmingly positive. I guess I’m just at a point where I want to see Game Forward not necessarily grow, but become more visible in the public space. I had to quit working almost four years ago and I’m starting to feel like I need to see more from my life and my work.
I will get things in order and the pain will subside as the winter settles in. I just need to learn to be patient and keep the fire burning inside.